Bondage, kink, fetish – you’ve probably Googled all of them for ages if you’re looking for a BDSM site. Though it may seem like a small niche community, thanks to the internet you can easily find like-minded people who are more than happy to help you fulfill your deepest and wildest fantasy.
Now, here’s the problem: finding the right BDSM dating site is really hard.
It shouldn’t be, but that’s the truth. The online dating market is booming, and every single day people can find new sites and apps where they can shoot their chance.
Unfortunately, mainstream apps aren’t the best at finding niche dating styles, while smaller apps that cater specifically to BDSM people come with their own problems (shady practices, small communities, etc.).
Not to worry, because you are about to discover the seven best BDSM dating sites on the entire market. With these sites, you can chat with like-minded people, meet up, and enjoy some unforgettable nights together.
So, without further ado, let’s get started!
7 Best Sites For BDSM Dating In 2023
1. Adult Friend Finder – Best Overall BDSM Dating Site, #1 Pick
2. Ashley Madison – Best For Discretion
3. Alt.com – Best BDSM Community
4. Friend Finder-X – Best For Fantasies
5. Lesbian Personals – Best For BDSM Chat Rooms
6. Men Nation – Most Popular BDSM Websites
7. Seeking.com – Best Kinky Dating Site
#1. Adult Friend Finder – Best Overall BDSM Dating Site, #1 Pick
The more we looked into it, the more we were convinced Adult Friend Finder is the best BDSM dating site out there. Naysayers may complain that this platform isn’t BDSM or kink-specific, but don’t let that fool you.
Yes, Adult Friend Finder is a bit more mainstream and a bit less niche, but don’t confuse it with other mainstream apps. It has an incredibly large community at a global scale, and many in the BDSM community turn to it to find a sexual partner.
Adult Friend Finder has been on the market for quite some time, and thanks to its top-notch services, it has grown tremendously over the years.
As an alternative dating site, you can find lots of members in the BDSM community here, as well as other communities, all brought together and looking to have some fun.
With millions of users that are also active on the platform (many sites have a huge issue with old and inactive accounts), it’s easy to find what you’re looking for on Adult Friend Finder, no matter where you are.
The site has a fair share of free features, but you’ll definitely get more if you upgrade to a paid account.
Not for anything, but a Gold membership allows you to check out a user’s full profile which can help you save a lot of time and know if a person is what you’re looking for right from their profile.
Pros
- Large international community, and highly engaged
- Lots of users looking for alternative dating
- Ideal for fetishes and kinks
Cons
- Free accounts have limited features (and offer incomplete experience)
=> Click here to visit the official website of Adult Friend Finder
#2. Ashley Madison – Best For Discretion
“Life is short, have an affair.” – with a motto like that, Ashley Madison made it very clear that their website is not for the mainstream dating community.
We like that the site doesn’t beat around the bush when it comes to what it wants to achieve, so users know exactly what they are getting themselves into.
If you are in a relationship and want to have some no strings attached fun from time to time, Ashley Madison is for you.
Of course, the site has been involved in its fair share of controversies because of its approach, but if you look beyond that, you’ll see a very high-quality dating site with a strong BDSM community.
Many people who are interested in fetish and bondage play and feel they cannot do that with their partner turn to Ashley Madison to find a person to experiment with.
At Ashley Madison, discretion is paramount, for obvious reasons. They put a lot of effort into ensuring their customers can use their platform safely and without the risk of exposure.
There are free accounts available, and women get a lot of perks even with the free account. However, the paid versions are a bit on the pricey side, but it may very well be worth it.
Pros
- Highly discreet and safe
- Diverse user base looking for kink and BDSM
- Free account for women
Cons
- A bit pricey
- If you don’t want to hook up with married or “taken” people, it’s not for you
=> Click here to visit the official website of Ashley Madison
#3. Alt.com – Best BDSM Community
We recommend Alt.com to anyone who has a bit more experience in the BDSM world. The website specifically caters to people looking for alternative dating, so in terms of its user base, you will not find people looking for something traditional.
However, it may be overwhelming for people who’ve had no previous experience with BDSM encounters. We’d recommend Alt.com for people who have a much clearer idea of what type of meeting they’d be into because they will find it on Alt.com, without a doubt.
Be it kink, fetish play, threesomes (or more than three), bondage, and any other type of alt dating you can think of, someone on Alt.com is ready to help you make your wildest sexual fantasy come true.
From a technical standpoint, the site doesn’t look all that exciting, and its interface may seem a little bit dated. Still, you have all the features you need to interact with users, like profiles complete with pictures and descriptions, and messaging features.
Pros
- Large community of BDSM-oriented individuals
- Great cam shows and other NSFW content
- Highly engaged and active community
Cons
- Site interface is slightly outdated
=> Click here to visit the official website of Alt.com
#4. Friend Finder-X – Best For Fantasies
Friend Finder-X is one of the most popular casual dating sites in the entire world. It’s been around since the 90s, and many people from across the globe turn to it looking for a one-night stand or sexual adventure.
While the site doesn’t cater specifically to the alt or BDSM community, many individuals in this community often gravitate to casual dating sites, so you will still find a good chunk of its uber base are into bondage, kinks, and all that fun stuff.
Adult Finder-X is perfect for BDSM newbies who are still not really sure what they like but want to find someone to experiment with. It’s less intense than other sites in this review, which can make you not feel so overwhelmed when browsing through the profiles.
Members can upload videos of themselves on their profiles and give looky-loos a small taste of what would happen if a real-life meeting occurred.
We love it when dating platforms allow the use of video because it really cuts down the time you need to vet a person to make sure they look like their photos.
Pros
- Large and engaged community
- Lots of free features
- Video profiles
Cons
- Slightly more men than women
- Messaging is only available for paid accounts
=> Click here to visit the official website of Friend Finder-X
#5. Lesbian Personals – Best For BDSM Chat Rooms
Lesbian Personals is the market’s top choice for women looking for a BDSM encounter with other women.
Unfortunately, lesbian and bisexual women often have a really hard time using many of the mainstream dating sites. Most are straight-centric, so it’s really hard to find lesbians and bisexuals there, as the communities are really small, and people aren’t located next to each other.
Moreover, many of the so-called “lesbian” dating sites are overrun by users looking to sexualize lesbian relationships, especially lesbians involved in the alt dating scene.
But Lesbian Personals are not like that. It’s the world leading lesbian dating site with millions of users from all around the world.
While yes, a lot of the women on the site are looking for something long-term and serious, because Lesbian Personals is so well-known in the queer community, there is a large number of women interested in kink play, bondage, and more.
Users can chat live through instant messaging, which allows them to send private photos to each other, and even video chat if they want to take things to the next level.
Moreover, the site is completely free, which is an added perk!
Pros
- Free dating site
- Lesbian-specific
- Large and highly engaged community
Cons
- Not BDSM-specific, but the user base is really diverse
=> Click here to visit the official website of Lesbian Personals
#6. Men Nation – Most Popular BDSM Websites
Men Nation is a gay dating site that’s perfect for gay and bisexual men looking for a BDSM adventure.
The website offers both a free and paid subscription, but we really liked that the free version offers you lots of good features, so you don’t feel forced to upgrade to a paid account just to use the website properly.
Men Nation specifically caters to those looking for casual dating, so you won’t find lots of users in long-term relationships and serious commitments. There are a lot of BDSM and fetish community members there as well.
Moreover, it has one of the most active gay dating users we’ve ever seen, which means you will likely not waste your time if you sign up. Men Nation even has a very convenient local feature where you can see profiles of the users near your location, so you can really target your BDSM search.
Men Nation allows you to create local group discussions, which is a great way for swingers, BDSM, and alt dating community members to get organized, so we highly recommend checking out these groups.
You can chat with people through instant messaging and video chat, and also browse through over 2000 adult videos. Just in case your search hits a snag, it doesn’t mean you can’t still pass the time and have some fun on Men Nation!
Another really useful feature is the Hotlist. When you see a profile you like but don’t want to reach out just yet (maybe you’re just quickly browsing at night before bed), you can add the profile to your Hotlist.
Then, reach out to them when you’re ready! A free account lets you add up to 200 people to your Hotlist, which is quite generous.
Pros
- Highly engaged and active gay community
- Quality gay dating site
Cons
=> Click here to visit the official website of Men Nation
#7. Seeking.com – Best Kinky Dating Site
A lot of people have heard of Seeking.com because it’s the world’s leading dating site for sugar daddy relationships. If you don’t want that kind of engagement, you may think that this dating site is a waste of your time.
And you couldn’t be more wrong! Seeking.com has grown its user base quite a lot over the years and attracts more than those interested in sugar relationships. Today, you can find people wanting a fling, one night stand, threesome, kink play, and even BDSM!
The site attracts a lot of sugar daddy and mommy types, but guess what? These are exactly the people who are most interested in having some kinky fun.
The platform itself is really intuitive and easy to use, and we love that Seeking.com puts a lot of effort into data protection and security. Users can rest assured their personal information is protected while using the site.
The user base is really large and highly engaged, which gives you all the chances to find the right person to experiment with and have some fun.
And who knows, maybe you can even take your experimenting to the next level and try out a sugar relationship. You might actually get a lot out of it!
Pros
- Free accounts for women
- Excellent BDSM and fetish community
- Solid men-to-women ratio
Cons
- Paid accounts skew on the expensive side
=> Click here to visit the official website of Men Nation
FAQs Regarding BDSM Dating Sites
What’s the best BDSM dating site?
The seven BDSM dating sites we’ve reviewed here are excellent choices. On every one of them, you can find the right person to let your wildest BDSM and kink fantasy run freely.
However, if you’re looking for something really specific and want to do your own search, we recommend keeping a few things in mind:
- Location – not all dating sites have a global community. You should check whether the site you’re interested in has people from your area, or at least close to it unless you’re willing to routinely travel to meet a BDSM partner.
- Dating site reputation – the dating site market is huge, and every day another app or site pops up. Unfortunately, not all of these services are created equal. Look for a site that truly cares for its community and has features like user safety (reporting abuse or harassment), video chatting, and quality data protection to avoid spilling all your personal information.
- Site community – a dating site can brag about having over 1 million users, but if most of them are bots or inactive accounts, it won’t do you much good. Unfortunately, a lot of the time you won’t be able to tell how engaged a community is until after you start using it (unless you sign up for the ones we’ve already vetted). You can try to check out user reviews, as people will often describe the types of communities encountered on these sites, to help save some time.
- Other personal preferences – you know what you like, so take all of it into account when looking for a BDSM dating site. Some of them can take a more mainstream approach, while others narrow it down as much as possible. Read up on the site approach before setting up an account, especially if you have to pay for it.
Is it safe to use BDSM dating sites?
The seven BDSM dating sites we’ve reviewed have impeccable track records and are generally considered safe to use. However, remember that these sites are only there to give you a way to meet people. These services cannot guarantee your safety.
Most of them have reporting features, so if you do start chatting with someone who seems very aggressive or “off”, be sure to report them to let the platform know they should delete that account. This helps keep the BDSM dating site safer for everyone!
Do you have to pay to use BDSM dating sites?
A lot of BDSM dating sites offer both free and paid subscriptions. With some, the free accounts offer very limited features and may push you to pay for the account just so you can do basic internet dating stuff like direct message other users.
Dating sites usually have their pricing clearly listed on their websites so if you’re on a budget, you should check out their pricing to see if it works for you. Luckily, the websites in our review offer both free and paid accounts, so be sure to check them out!
Are there any BDSM dating sites for queer people?
Of course! We’ve reviewed two of the best BDSM dating sites for gay men (Men Nation) and lesbians (Lesbian Personals), but there are lots more out there if you’re looking for something else.
There are also a lot of queer people on non-gay-specific BDSM sites as well as mainstream dating apps. However, every time you go more niche, while the overall user base might be smaller, you have more chances of meeting the right person.
Can I really meet someone on a BDSM dating site?
BDSM dating sites are not match-making services, meaning they do not guarantee you will meet someone or find what you’re looking for. Instead, they give you all the tools you need to get in touch with people.
Whether you meet someone or find what you’re looking for (a BDSM encounter) depends on you, not just the site you are using.
Check out these tips that can increase your chances of meeting the right person on a dating sites:
The more detailed your profile, the better chances you have at actually meeting a person from an online dating site, BDSM or otherwise.
Basically, most people don’t feel comfortable chatting with a user who has a blurry profile picture and not a lot of information about themselves. Meeting in real life is even less likely to happen with these accounts, as the wreck of scams and phishing.
- Be honest about what you want
If you only tell the person what you think they want to hear, you will be disappointed with your BDSM dating site experience. After all, why would you want to waste your time chatting or even meeting up with a user who’s not on the same page as you?
Honesty is the best policy here, so don’t be afraid to be clear and direct about what you’re looking for. There are lots of people out there interested in the same thing!
Many people are a bit afraid of being the first to reach out through a dating site. But you should never wait around for the other person to make the move, especially if you really like their profile!
Think of a nice and witty way to break the ice and spark a conversation. Making a note of something about their profile also works because it shows you paid attention and didn’t speed-like profiles.
- Don’t let the conversation die
You should try as best as you can to keep the conversation going. When the chat reaches a dead point, the sparks go away quickly. There are a lot of online dating tips out there to help you improve your chatting game.
But you can also invite the person to a video call if you’re not comfortable always texting them.
Concluding On Top Webistes For BDSM
So, there you have it – the top 7 dating sites for the BDSM community.
No matter your preferences or your experience with kink and bondage play, we’re sure you will not be disappointed with what these dating sites have to offer.
Feel free to check them out for yourself, sign up, and start meeting new people who can help make your wildest fantasies come true. Have fu