W hen dating apps rapidly increased in popularity in recent years, I was skeptical.
I admit I can’t be 100 percent objective about dating apps; I’m married and have been for a while, so adapting to an evolving dating scene isn’t a priority.
I’m also from a generation where most people met someone at the library, bar, grocery store, mall, work or through friends. The courtship was a process that moved at its own pace without too much influence or outside interference. (Unlike today. Everyone has an opinion on how, when and why to date.)
When the few online dating options arose, I thought those were ingenious ways for everyone, especially people who weren’t too social, to find their special someone.
A friend met his wife that way.
Of course, like everything that has the potential to make money, came duplicates offering something better, faster and more appealing.
Before long, online dating became the standard.
I know several individuals who rely solely on dating apps to find someone, and I don’t judge them.
I support them because I empathize with their urge to find someone with whom to share their life.
I fear the treacherous people who lurk in those same online spaces.
When I initially expressed my concerns about dating apps to them, I received affectionate eye-rolls and sweet dismissals.
They teased me for watching too many crime documentaries.
They don’t ridicule me as much anymore, though. We’ve all watched or read too many true-crime documentaries and news articles about tragic events in which online dating was the catalyst.
For instance, consider the recent news about 26-year-old Charvas Thompson, who killed Sugar Land resident Wendy Duan in her backyard.
Thompson was arrested in Louisiana and charged with her murder. He will face charges in Fort Bend County.
According to the Sugar Land PD, Thompson allegedly shot and killed Wendy during an argument a week after the two met on a dating app.
Wendy, who lived in New Territory, was a 28-year-old Alief ISD third-grade teacher who taught writing and reading.
SLPD said a Flock camera, a license plate recognition camera, helped confirm Thompson’s identity.
The department said it has about 100 Flock cameras throughout the city and plans to add 100 more.
While the cameras, fortunately, did their job, Wendy is still gone, and her family and community are still broken.
And it was a dating app that yielded Wendy and Thompson crossing paths.
There is nothing inherently wrong with online dating options. I’ve heard some fantastic and inspiring online dating stories.
But there are also too many that end in someone being mentally, physically, sexually or emotionally harmed, maimed, assaulted or scarred.
To those of you with honorable intentions using these apps to find someone, whether for a fling or forever, I hope you have entertaining and delightful life-changing experiences.
But I implore you to be careful.
Choose a public setting when meeting someone new, and keep all meetings in the open until you know, in your gut, you can do otherwise.
Even then, provide a responsible person you know with information about a date.
Always have an out in mind, and trust your gut about someone or a situation.
And don’t automatically believe everything in a posted profile.
There are too many skilled thieves, liars and unstable people making profiles. Some people also use dating profiles like bait, with the sole intent of searching for targets, not compatibility.
I’ve been out of the dating game for a while, so I know there are expert sources with better online dating safety advice and strategies.
While you may not always be able to avoid an embarrassing or annoying date, there are ways to keep yourself safe.
Please realize and apply them.
